Social anxiety

Me: Did you know, when I was a kid, I used to avoid people like teachers or friends when I saw them out of school?

Brother: What?

Me: Yea, my heart would pump so fast, it's as if I'm almost being caught at blind man's buff.

Brother: Really???

Me: Yea, I would hide behind mummy or daddy if I can, or just take a different way hoping they won't see me.

Brother: Wow, I didn't know... Wow... I mean, wow...

_______

It's gotten better but some days social anxiety still gets to me and I'll stutter and lose my composure in front of acquaintances or people I'm uncomfortable with.

To be honest, I have never given much thought about my shyness/social anxiety. I'm generally shy in front of people that I've not warmed up to and I suppose it's never been much of an issue in an Eastern country because we're not expected to speak up or be outspoken or social.

And my brother's reaction made me think, well, maybe not everyone can understand it cos they can't comprehend how such a small matter can seem so big to me.

But that's social anxiety for you - it's not something we can control, though we can learn to overcome it (to an extent). It's not something we can unlearn because it's mostly an unconscious process which leads to physical reaction (racing heart). It's uncomfortable at best, but isolating at worst.

It also reminds me that everyone sees and reacts to the world differently. Perhaps, if we realise this, we can understand each other a little more and be more accepting and compassionate regards to someone else's difficult experiences.